I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize