I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i think i just lost a toe
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
