dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
