Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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