I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
