There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
