Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
