Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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