i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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