booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
