I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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