Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
