i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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