Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
