I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
