I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just found puke in my bra..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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