this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize