so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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