Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
