you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
This house was built for laser tag.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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