i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
