u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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