Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
