This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
