Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
