If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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