You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
