even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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