I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
