and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
