my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize