I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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