i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
