Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
