Kiss
Puke
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
