dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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