i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
