they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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