Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
