brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
