i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Floor bacon is actually really good
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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