apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
