he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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