How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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