No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
