My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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