my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
