TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
