belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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