Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
