we're chasing vodka with high fives
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
