I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
