I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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