suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
