did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
