Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
