who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can you bring me the toilet please
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
