based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize