dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
