did you get engaged???
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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