i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
