wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
