This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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